Monday, July 26, 2010


We have been really fortunate that most of the people in our lives have taken great care to tread lightly when it comes to our grief. I sit in grief group and hear some of the asinine comments and actions that are said and done to my fellow grievers and I just can't believe how insensitive people can be and thank my lucky stars that my circle of family and friends doesn't behave that way. It has taken a year before I truly got smacked in the face by some well intentioned relatives that don't quite seem to get what complete a-holes they are being. This is hard. Unfortunately what they have done is permanent and finding forgiveness feels very impossible. My heart is broken yet again. The problem is that our resistance to what feels like small things to someone else is nil. Little things are huge to us. We struggle and fight for every small piece of sanity we can on this journey. We don't come by it easily. We work so hard, and then someone can come along and just knock you five steps backwards. It is so unfair. With my knowledge and understanding of this new God that I am learning to love and believe in, he may not have the power to control our actions, but he can put thoughts and feelings into our hearts and minds to try to sway us. He can empower those around you to say and do things to encourage certain decisions as well. I guess in the end, it is up to us to make the right decision...or not. This is the kind of thing that makes me wonder what kind of bullshit world is this? Is it complete anarchy? How do I survive in a world where I have to live with whatever dumb choices someone else has made? Especially when it impacts me so directly. Speechless. Just speechless...


Anonymous Wendy said...

Hmmm... interesting no details... Did you send in this secret?

11:34 AM  

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