In Very Loving Memory...

This morning, we took Rosie to the vet to put her to sleep. We were able to see pretty quickly that the second round of medications wasn’t working, and her quality of life was not improving. I finally made the call to make an appointment earlier this week. Last night I got home from work as soon as I could to spend some time with her, and I slept on the floor with her and we snuggled. Chris and I both took the day off work today so we could do it together this morning. My mom came along too. We put her in her carrier, and took her down to the vet’s. The whole thing was really a peaceful experience. We knew we were doing the right thing, and the vet completely agreed. They had a special room set up for just this sort of thing. They had nice chairs and a rocking chair, and a blanket to wrap her in. The vet decided that putting an IV, and administering the euthanasia through the IV would be rough on her. The easiest and most gentle way would be to inject the euthanasia directly into her stomach, so that’s what we did. Once that was in her, we wrapped her in the blanket, and I rocked and held her until she slipped away. I remember thinking when the vet handed her to me after she was given the shot, “Wow, this is really it. No turning back now. Look at her…she really is dying.” She didn’t fight or struggle like she normally would have when she is at the vet – further confirmation that we were doing the right thing. Once it started working, it was like she slowly fell asleep. My mom kept cycling out tissues to us as I held her. Chris sat close so he could pet on her occasionally. It was really quiet in there as we all just watched her to see how it would happen. The whole thing took 15-20 minutes or so. They let us stay with her as long as we wanted. Once we had decided we were ready, we handed her to a nurse, who took her off and made an imprint of her paw in some clay for us to have. I think I am going to put it on my dresser. Funny thing…there is an imprint for every claw on that paw. Very typical of Rosie. She always loved to make full use of her claws. I feel relieved overall. I cried while I watched her go, but once she was gone, I felt relieved mostly for her sake. Having to watch her struggle since all this started has been horrible. It was healing for me to be there with her and hold her as she went. I just really wanted her to know down to her last breath how much she was loved, and I didn’t want her to do this alone. I feel blessed that she let me be there for her. As I already mentioned, she is usually very combative at the vet, but today she was just happy to be held and loved on.

Next step, is we are going to have her cremated, and I am going to get her ashes back. My mom is going to do a memorial service for her and I will spread her ashes at that point. I think I will put some under her favorite tree in the back yard. I will spread the rest up in Woodland Park. She did some really great hunting up there before we moved down to the Springs. I think we are also going to go get a memorial bird feeder for the back yard. We could never have one before, because it just would have been bait for Rosie. I know her little spirit would love the thought of her back yard filled with birds, so that seems like a good thing to do.

I know some of you have asked if you can do something. If you would like to make a donation in her honor you can do so to one of two places:

1) Rose Brooks Center – It was where I got her. For those that may not know, Rose Brooks Center is a shelter for battered women in Kansas City. I used to work there doing fundraising. One of the courageous women that came to the shelter came with her cats, one of whom and just given birth to kittens 6 days earlier (one of the kittens was Rosie). Rosie was named after the shelter, and I laugh now and think how typical that my little Rose ended up with the same tough spirit that many of the women there had. You can make a donation online at www.rosebrooks.org

2) We are big fans of the Humane Society as well. They do really amazing work. The national website that you can go to and make a donation is http://www.hsus.org/

Thanks so much for all of the good wishes and prayers. It is so hard to lose a pet. I know it will be tough in the coming weeks as we learn what it is like to live without her. We already experienced that “phantom feeling” when we took Maggie for a walk. Rosie loved to come along for walks as well, and I almost half expected her to pop out of a bush, or out from under a car like she used to do, and realized that that wouldn’t ever happen again. Ouch. Her spirit is surely here though, doing just that. I think I will grab Chris and go out for lunch, and then to shop for the bird feeder. Thanks for reading.